She wanted to kill herself, but then she experienced that it made great sense to live

Marcela’s Story

Marcela:

I’d known that somewhere out there was a God. But I didn’t think he was interested in me because I grew up in eastern Slovakia and they didn’t let gypsies into the churches because they thought we were unclean for God.

After my aunt Vlasta became Christian she started to talk about God. She spoke about God very beautifully, like he loved us, he cared for us and in that moment, it really touched me and I knew that I wanted to know him. But I didn’t know where I should find him. So they told me to look for him in the Bible. I started to read it, and everything was so perfect. God really lets us get to know him better, he blessed us.

The breaking point came when my brother Milan got sick. He died and so I decided I didn’t want anything to do with God.

I ripped up my Bible. I apostatized.

Marcela’s mom:

When my son died, she really suffered that he is no longer with us. It really knocked her down and she didn’t enjoy anything. And I did everything so she could read the Bible again. I told her many times “Here’s a Bible, read it!” and she ripped it up. She ripped my Bible up and I didn’t know what else to do. 

Marcela:

I wanted to kill myself. I didn’t have any meaning in life. I wanted to poison myself. I also started to gamble. I was losing my children’s money. I am really ashamed of it now. I got really addicted to it. I really didn’t know what to do. I also started to drink alcohol. 

Marcela’s mom:

After that I got a little book from someone from church. I took it and gave it to her. I was surprised that she took the book and started to read it.

Marcela:

The name of the book was ‘I became Christian, what now?’ And so, she gave me this book to read. I started to read it so I would get rid of her. It was that evening when I started to read this book. The book really got my interest so much that I kept reading it till 3am in the morning. The book was about God’s grace and how his grace works. That it doesn’t matter what we’ve done, what kind of sins we’ve done but his grace and love are greater. And it touched my heart so much that I resigned and told God, ‘Please God forgive me and please, take me back’. I woke up next morning and my heart was overflowing with love. I’ve never experienced this kind of love. I got up and I loved people. 

Marcela’s mom:

I didn’t recognize her, neither did my children.

Marcela:

God had taken alcohol and gambling away from me that night. 

Joy and love returned. My children saw this change. They said that a miracle had happened. 

When someone says that God isn’t real, I know that he is. I’ve experienced his great power and it wasn’t only with the gambling but also with cigarettes.

Life is totally different with God. Now everything makes sense. Before that, I didn’t know where my life was going and all my days were dull. And now I know where I am going, to whom I trust and what I am going to do. Give your life to God, because he is great. You have to repent, confess your sins and tell him you love him. He will completely change your life.

When there are moments where I don’t know where to go, I always repeat Psalm 23. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. Me, my children and my grandchildren will not lack anything. He makes us lie down in green pastures, he leads us beside quiet waters, he refreshes our souls. He guides us along the right paths for his name’s sake.